So...almost six months after my last unhappy journal here, I have something new in my gallery and I have something new in my life. Both things are very, very good.

The two things go together, too---the piece is my submission for the annual New Urban Arts mentor show. NUA is an amazing interdisciplinary art studio space in Providence connecting hundreds of local high school students with 20 artist mentors every year. The mission is to help the students develop their creative skills and ideas while meeting new people in a safe and supportive environment, while allowing the artist mentors to develop their teaching and mentoring skills and support their creative practices. I had the honor of being selected as one of this year's artist mentors, and twice a week I get to hang out with the students and help them create and develop sculpture projects (I'm the "Sculpture Mentor", but I have students who work with me on everything from sewing to painting). So far it's been nothing short of incredible. I think I may need to be a teacher.

So in addition to being seriously uplifted by being in such an amazing and supportive space, and, you know, figuring out the direction I might want to take my life in...I'm making art again. And enjoying it. So I wanted to share it on here, because DA (and this is going to sound sappy, but it's true) has always been a really positive and encouraging place for me. A random stranger telling me that they love my work is kind of awesome. I may not always respond to comments/favorites/watches, but I do really appreciate them, and it makes me want to keep posting stuff.

How's that for a tonal shift from last time, eh? Thanks for being patient. <3

So...

I now have a BFA in Illustration from the Rhode Island School of Design.

Also, the knowledge that I do not, in fact, want to work as an illustrator. Thanks, art school.

I don't regret going---I met my closest friends and my partner (!!!), networked with some amazing and awe-inspiring artists, and grew immensely in terms of my technical skill and visual problem-solving.

But right now, I kind of hate art and don't really want to do it. So I'm taking a break. I don't know how long the break will be. I'm hoping that once art isn't work anymore, the itch will come back and I'll be able to make things for myself again.

I'll put a few of my last efforts into the gallery, and then I'll probably disappear for awhile. Not that I'm really a big presence here anyway.

A word of warning: I sometimes get people emailing me from DA to ask about applying to RISD, or art school in general. I've really enjoyed talking with you folks, but DON'T EMAIL ME RIGHT NOW. Honestly, I'm too burned out and bitter and I will probably tell you not to go. I've just spent four grueling years there and reached the end of my rope and I don't have a lot nice to say right now. This doesn't mean that RISD isn't a fantastic school and that I didn't enjoy it (I did). I'm just goddamned sick of it and not a very good spokesperson. Talk to somebody else, maybe somebody who's still attending, or somebody who really and truly wants an art career.

So here's to hoping I can get back the artistic itch that art school killed for me. I'm pretty sure it'll come. Maybe soon. Everything is different now, and I'm already feeling the change.

...boobies?

Who is going through my gallery and flagging my pieces with any tits in them as "mature content" violations? I'm sorry that female anatomy has offended your delicate sensibilities.

Women have breasts. It's okay. You probably have some, or you sucked on some when you were a kid. If you didn't, and you have some sort of weird vendetta against breasts, please don't take it out on me. I don't want to be kicked off DA or anything because you don't like boobs.

I guess I don't have a problem with my pieces being "mature content" (better that than deleted), I just think it's weird that all of a sudden somebody's decided that something that's been on DA for YEARS (the "tentacles" digital painting) and has zero sexual content is now offensive.

End titty rant.

So I decided it was time to clean out my gallery of some of the clutter that's been there since I was, well, 14?

Angst-ridden self-portraits, poorly executed fan art, kitschy goth doodles, etc...

As you can see, there is some old stuff still left up at the end there. Things I was fond of. In a year or two those might disappear too but for now they're sentimental and less embarrassing.

Apologies to those who had favorites. Actually, I think most of the favorites I had were on my high school crap, but I'd rather not be embarrassed by that stuff anymore and I think I can live without DeviantArt popularity, ha.

I plan on uploading some new stuff, so keep your eyes peeled if you're still interested in me.

Hope everyone's enjoying the holidays.

goddammit i don't fucking draw enough anymore.

art school is killing my art. sort of. no. wait.

somebody kick me in the head.

somebody hand me a pencil and a piece of paper and tell me to draw what i WANT to draw, because i know it's all still in there somewhere.